From S.A.C.W.O.G.

There are times in life when you start a new job.
There are signs at a new job that let you know when you should graciously bow out (quit).
There are six of these:
1. If you discover decapitated dogs in the storage closets/filing cabinets.
2. If you're life is threatened because you cover your mouth with a fist instead of a flathand when you cough.
3. If the motto of the office is "Slay."
4. If the temperature of the office is 133 degrees Farenheit (or higher)
5. If the only thing anyone says to you is, "You look like a demon defecated on your neck!"
6. If the water cooler water tastes like disembodied dog head.

[Courtesy of the S.A.C.W.O.G. (Safe And Cheerful Workers/Occupationaries Guild)]