Thank you, Goey

Thank you for agreeing to watch our good dog Kyle, Goey. Kyle is a purebred Alaskian Wolf-Tearer, and he is 3 years old. He has a very specific diet. Please don't feed him any primates because that is just one step closer to getting him used to eating people. Ha, ha. Just kidding. But seriously, don't.
He is very smart and knows many commands:
Stay
Go
Heel
Play dead
Play maimed
Down
Stop Biting
Stop Biting, NOW
Breed
Avenge me

Please don't use these commands unless you really need to. He is VERY diligent about following them.
If you have any trouble, don't call us- we're on vacation, remember. Call the police or the S.W.A.T. That's what they're for. They have canine units. That's why.
Okay, have fun and BE SAFE.
-Donna and Neigel
p.s. Don't most people spell your name 'Joey'? Hmm.