12/05

VENDÆDOR VEXES THE CRUCIBLE

Vendædor was riding through the plains of Varshege on a hot day when his lion Jkovva sensed that there were challenges nearby. He became jitterly and spastic even, and Vendædor was not pleased. He was riding at over fifty miles per hour, so getting jittery was dangerous. Vendædor steered Jkovva into the aside land, and behold, there was a mysterious opening into the ground. This was not an ordinary hole in the ground. It was a stairwell, with musky scents and an ancient-looking rhune. The rhune said, “All Enter the Crucible” but of course Vendædor did not take heed of this nor did he know how to read it. He made Jkovva stay put or else, and he descended into the twilight, for in the darkness, it was not dark, but twilight. The twilight was coming from all of the star bugs that were in the darkness. The musky smell was actually not musky at all- it was the smell of electricity. But Vendædor did not know anything of electricity, except that it made the motors go in the tree towns, but he did not know anything about the tree towns except that they made good leather boots and sheaths. This he knew much about. When Vendædor descened into the lowest level, he saw before him an array of floating bricks, each of gold and encrusted with jewels. These were tempting to steal, but Vendædor did not know why. He had grainfields that stretched beyond ninty days walk. And bricks were heavy and sharp. So Vendædor crawled lizard-like underneath the bricks and went further into the cave, until he came to the crucible, which was like a big pot. It looked like it would cook a whole cow at one time, and Vendædor began to think about this. He thought about it so much that it consumed his mind- he thought about the spices and the herbs and the wines and the chewing and the taste and the odors and the sleep and the picking of teeth and splitting of bone and as he was thinking this, he crawled into the crucible to simulate the cooking of the whole cow, and immediately he was in the CENTRICO of Dondyte. And the Denladian citizens were very surprised in deed to see a lion warrior in his scant cothing (only boots) standing in the middle of the city. And Vendædor was equally surprised. This is where the phase “as out of place as Vendædor in CENTRICO” came from. Of course the reason Vendædor was in Dondyte was because the Crucible sent him there by vaporizing him and blowing his vapor across the land and rematerializing him in the CENTRICO. The Crucible only works if you are not at all thinking about it working. And Vendædor wasn’t. Where you end up depends on how heavy you are and which side you climb into the crucible from. Vendædor had a long walk home- over seven hundred miles- and he was not happy with the Crucible.

Good Knews

www.therentals.com

Updates

So I saw Scott yesterday and he was with this traveling nurse lady who had given him a breathalyzer test and found that he was indeed legal to drive, as he had claimed. I saw him playing kind-of backup guitar for Metallica and the fans really liked it. He said he got paid 200 dollars a minute. He also had quit the army and was headed up to Tennessee, to pursue some sort of schooling.