Funin the Scum!

Man, it gets cold out here in the Gully. The other day, we got all tangled in these telephone wires that were buried in the snow and we were all crying and cussing and carrying on and then we got all huffy and out of breath and dizzy-headed because of lack of food and warm and oxygen, and so we were silent for a few minutes and we could hear phone conversations going over the phone lines. that was oh, man, that was real high-class.
The best phone conversation I remember was between two people.
I gave them names based on the tonality of their voice and the influction of their umms and nieeeeidonos.
Rhonni (nasaly humming throughout the conversation, starts to lisp and then gaggs, and then talks with a pseudo-hicky-i'm-tired-of-having-the-dog-lick-my-face-but-I-already-let-him-do-it voice)
and Kander (lots of suppressed feminine belching and smacking of dry lips, wetting of dry lips, drying of wet lips on the back of a chubby paw and then repeat, and a voice that seems to want to break into Vertical Horizon songs always)
they said this:
Rhonni : I...I simply can't let the people at the dog groomers know that I love to touch him there.

Kander: Oh...well, their you're frinds.

Rhonni: Well, they act like they know me and they always groom Obadiadog when I bring in it.

Kander: Look, if it bothers you, I will tell them about the tendencies and the outcomes- what are the most profound outcomes?

Rhonni: A subdued squeel and then morose whimperings.

Kander: Maybe that's a good sign. I mean, what if it helps him get all the bad vibes out of there and then -hoo hoo- he's more ready to get his things all pointed in the right and upward orienta-

Rhonni- But that's not good enough. I think there's too much blood in the involvement!

Kander- Oh, kliderscope. I didn't know that there was blood. Oh f....f...crap. I got dizzy stars. What the heck were you thinking? Oh....oh...ummmmm. I gotta go get some Stay-down syrup.

Rhonni- Ig. I'm sorry. But of course there's blood, I mean, that's how the whole thing works. I mean, if you had one, you'd know. Ha Ha. Are you there? I'm sorry. That was weird. Do you think it could kill him? What if he died and then people got curious as to why and then - they find out what I do to him while he sleeps....Ostrichsize. That's the word I want to say.

Kander: What? What was that last part?

Rhonni: Nothing.

Kander: Look, if you want a medical opinion, I'll give you one. Stop it. I know that you like it and its a huge rush and it gets your motor going but Its not natural and I definately think its bad for him. What would your husband say if he found out what you do at night?

Rhonni: He'd be pissed off, real bad.

Kander: yeah, so don't do it. And if you need to talk to your kindof friends at the dog groomers to get you to stop then do it. Its nothing you cant get through. I have lots of friends whose spouse has a head accident that exposes their brain and they cant help but poke at it at night while their spouse is asleep. You're not the only one.

Rhonni: really?

Kander: No. Not exactly really.

Then it got too cold and we passed out but woke up to the sun and clawed our way out of the gully. Camping is indrecible!