Ytselta

Initially, one might think that they were rays of light. The way they did whatever they pleased, and looked like lightning, only softer. And the way they brought meaning to the bottom of a skateboard, which has all the intentions painted right there to see. It was almost foregone, the conclusion that they were light rays. But they were actually eyes. And they held in them the sort of things that you forget until a dream happens and then it's back in the bank, wiggly and alive and all excited. And you wonder 'what'?
And how strange it must be to die. And how strange is it to be alive, anyhow? Will we get more out of this if we stay up late and eat at the all night diner, or else see the rising sun in a joggin' suit? Because if you do both, you might slip into the realm of CaZIko, and then where will you end up? For Hashmodar will not always support your feet, and Thrond will eventually let you stumble and fall. There is dust on the moon, I am told by myself. Dust to dust, moon to earth. Ad infitininimuinimum.

Maldi Tofferi

There was a beautiful shriek in the middle of the night, as though a lovely woman had suddenly had her sheer nightgown ripped away in the cold corridor by the lumberjackian paper man with the black beard and the straw hat and she was startled and embarassed but oddly pleased at the same time. It was like that but it wasn't that. I was actually the sound of the old barn gate, moving with the urges of the wind and occasionally causing the cat to stir.
What was the cat stirring? Milk and blood orange juice, which was its favorite thing to have before going to the bedroom.
It sat down at the dumpy stump where there used to be a trickle tree and the swishy swing did hang, and lapped the mixture. Lap lap lap lappity lap lap lap.
It was all gone and the cat was feeling bloated and harsh, so it went for a quick stroll and then the gate made a sudden crash to closed. This made the cat lose alot of that mixture around it, and it therefor felt much less bloated.
It went to the bedroom, and I said, "no don't gome hin her." I was tired and halfway asleep, but the cat understood.
But the cat understood. But the cat understood. But the cat...under...stood...but...the...cat......
When I awoke, I found a golden star of Elija on my doorframe and a note:
irma sryeha thao iaw woowke yu uppa lasst niet. -cayat
Dang, I felt bad for being to harsh to the cat, but then I remembered that I actually wasn't that harsh, just stern and afterall, it understood.

Mitheare Grujame

Here's a collection of archaic nursery rhymes. They have lost some of their meaning over the years, as cultures have changed and some of the concepts do not translate. They are all meant to be sung in chant.

Down by the giddy fly giddy fly giddy fly
Down by the giddy fly early in the light.
I saw a sandy man, staching hand, in the sand
I saw a mad intent breaking through the sight.
All around the elderbush, elderbush, elderbush, el dur UR UR BUSH!
All around the elderbush is fancy dancing toes.
Whose toes are the dancing toes, dancing toes, dancing toes TOE!
They are ours. ARE OURS. ARE OURS. ARE OUCH!!!

The wind is a madam, spanking and coddling.
The water a baby, drinking and flowing,
The sky is a majesty, yelling and frowning,
And I am a pepper tree, yeilding and dying.

How many times will the old bad man?
One to three or four to seven!
And how many times will his children, then?
Never never never never they are GOD.


Hickelty spickellty noddledy doo.
Hop the planeterum.
Cat and horeses, oh what the hell?
Let's get all f28 on ourselves, right?
Oooook. Oook. Uhhhh. Ik. Ok.
O.K.

Megatone Co.

The Megatone Corporation, or as it is informally referred to as, Toney, was created in 1950 in Tucson, Arizona by Loo and Dyna Wick, two daughters of the great jazz bassist Judy Wick. Originally created to be an outlet for up-and-coming female bass players, both in the classical style and in the jazz branches, Toney soon became the premier record embalming company of the southwest. In the early 1950's records were printed on wax, which often caused what was referred to as "droopage" when the record was played for too long or in too hot an environment, such as an attic or a cafeterium. The wax would literally begin to melt, causing the notes and consequently the songs to slip into lower keys, i.e. from a key of G to F# to F, etc. Soon, songs were being played in nasty keys like C and this caused much fury in the purist music circles. Toney essentially squelched this problem by embalming records with the state-of-the-art space polymer polychloroethylamine. This coating eliminated the problem with droopy wax records and at the same time introduced an etherial "dolphin chorus" sound to the background of any record it was applied to. This became wildly popular with the youth of the day and many recoding engineers and producers attempted to imitate the sound on their own recordings. None could successfully do it, so the Megatone corporation flourished until about 1963 when it became suddenly unanimously realized that such a dolphin chorus sound is actually quite annoying.

algorithm hatred against me, actually

so in an effort to make this blog more conventional, so that in might avoid being targeted by anti-spam algorithms, I will post something that I ususally do not. First person journaling of my everyday mundane existance.
Yesterday I rode my bike and I saw a bird and I saw a tree and it was green and the bird sat on it and then there was a woman with no hands trying to fit this coller over her dog, who kept saying, "look, nanna, I just don't feel like walking today, I mean..."
No, actually I just rode my bike there was not a bird or a tree or a woman, but there were two dogs and they are my dogs and they were doing very boring things like sleeping.
One is black and white and one is white and brown.
I ate toast and played the drums and tried to play a song on the drums and found out that I am a lousy drummer.
I went to work and had a boring-unproductive day because I did twice the binning that I meant to do on the on-off assay and screwed the whole thing up. Even at 800 times magnification I could not see anything. It was less than one pixel.
There is a book on my record player and I put it there and I enjoy it being there.
I found that book on the street last week and it is the best find I've had in a long time. Maybe the best find ever, because it is in such good shape and is from 1985.
I ate barbeque chips at one point.
I had a piece of strawberry cheescake at another.
I went to the store. There were things for sale, but not what I wanted, just mostly trash and bad music and horrible video games and lousy tv series on dvd.
There was a camera and a phone in a fish tank and this was to prove that they are both water-proof? They could just have been broken sitting in the water, and I think that they probably didn't work. Else they would have been taking pictures and calling people. And they had this other camera that could tell when you are smiling and automatically take a picture. But it never took a picture of me because I never smiled because I thought that was an awfully stupid trick. Just inane.
And all the technology of the past 50 years has boiled down to twittering inane comments constantly whilst becoming more and more isolated, insulated and generally inconsequential.
I had a better post for this day but...what a hypocritical thing to do anyhow, maintain the [blog].

Stapler, the

The stapler is a contrite invention that works on the basis of allowed bending. Essentially, all a stapler does is hold a tiny piece of paper still long enough for a wire to slip into it and bend into a less sterically hindered formation. The wire that is used is paramagnetic, and therefore acts funny. It will bend when allowed, to try and fix those electron problems that it has built up. If you know Paul Lee's exclusion principle, you know that an electron will never be next to another electron unless the metal that both of them inhabit (which itself is just a huge, slow electron) is bent. So in a paramagnetic material, which again means we have face-to-face electron conversation 'happening', the bending of the metal spontaneously occurs, and the rate is on the order of femtoseconds. So when this bending is allowed to proceed, any organic material that has a soft penetation coefficient (like paper or skin or tissue) will be pierced by the relaxing metal and held in a place.
Staplers simply provide the framework for this to occur.
The first stapler was engineered by Gilbert Pziak in 1902, and was actually ten yards long and weighed over thirty tons! This was to house the supermagnets that were needed to keep the paramagneto-metal from bending before time. Nowadays, we use small staplers with nanomagnets which are about the size of the largest atoms.
A good stapler will retail for anywhere from 10,000 to 100,000 dollars, but there are many cheaper staplers that have saturated the market.

Clovers/Clovernoises

In the wet wild beyond the mountains, but before the coast, in Bazzis
by way, there are several thousand species of clover. Not to be
confused with the plant, these clovers are actually self-autonomous
green pulpy ears. Growing on stalks and otherwise looking quite
inconspicuous. Are they plant or animal? Well, that is like asking if a
king is man or monster. It depends on whom you ask and who the
king actually is. In reality, they do nothing but listen and reflect
sound, much the same way a bat does these things, only they don't
fly and they only drink blood through their roots (as all plants do
when they have the opportunity). Why are there so many species?
Because they must be catagorized according to a differentiating
characteristic, namely the sound that they produce. And it seems
that each produces a distinct sound. This makes for as many species
as one can find (hear). They are not loud, in the same way that a fox
is not loud. But if you have a field of foxes, then maybe you notice
them more. Consequently, these wetlands can be quite ripe with
what are called 'clovernoises' and are sparsely inhabited with
human, except by those who's hearing is already slim, or else crazy
people with elephants. Elephants actually quite enjoy the
clovernoises, and they like the way the clovers taste.
As well they should. Clovers have twice the daily dose of vitamin A
and isoleucine that is typically ingested. They taste chalky, but in a
good way [source needed] and are often utilized in pies and stews
(like peaches). They don't naturally grow outside of Bazzis, but of
course there are some in Antorionight because...well that is obvious.